Mr. Security

In the time I’ve worked in my building, around eight years or so, there have been a total of three different security guards.  Security guard is a loose term since they have no ability to issue temporary access cards and don’t really restrict access to anyone.  I’ve written about that before how security let me in without checking any of my credentials.   Anyway…

The first guard was let go because he would fall asleep at the desk.  The second guard let everyone in everywhere and then retired a short while after he started.  The third guard, the new guy, is Mr. Security.

His intense gaze strikes fear into trespassers.  Intimidation is his middle name.  Yeah he doesn’t have a gun, but I’m sure he could kill you with his bare hands, or maybe he could kill you just by thinking of killing you with his bare hands.  He is that secure.

On two different occasions we inadvertently crossed paths in the hall.  Each time one of us was coming around the corner and had that awkward shuffle around each other.  Well, only one of us had the awkward shuffle, because Mr. Security wasn’t going to budge.

Both times I said “Excuse me”, only to get ignored.  No response, no head nod, nothing.  Just Mr. Security’s hard-ass silent treatment and his intense gaze.  Don’t mess with him, he is busy keeping things secure, like office supplies.

So don’t wander into our building unannounced.  Unless you like pain.

Secure pain.